Day Fifty Six
I’m not trying to brag, but I’ve been in therapy for almost half my life. Yeah, I was one of those cool kids who got pulled into the guidance counsellor because I wore long sleeves in summer. I was a troubled kid from the start, and had issues with eating disorders and self-injury, so I was one of those people who therapy was a life saving endeavour.
It’s a cruel realisation, but I squandered a lot of the work I engaged with by reaching the border of a point of clarity, and finding it so unbearable I drank to make it go away. Or I wanted it to quickly and quit before the magic happened. I don’t beat myself up for it, because I do believe that you are ready for things when you are ready, and I just wasn’t ready yet – but it really informs how I move forward in therapy.
It informs how honest I am about my moods and actions in relation to alcohol – whether I was influenced to do something as a result of alcohol’s influence on me, whether my enormous hangover as a result of filling my body with a depressant may have something to do with my lows, and whether I’m ready to engage with the hard discussions of mending relationships where alcohol played a part.
It was as a result of being honest with a therapist about my relationship with alcohol that I got the help I needed, it was stressful, but therapy by its nature is a judgement-free zone, and the odds are they probably know already, and are waiting for when you are ready.
Could you benefit from being more honest with your therapist about alcohol? If you don’t have a therapist, is it something you can realistically look into?
Three tiny things:
- Consider your relationship with therapy, is there a new type of therapy you want to try? How can you better your relationship with your therapist?
- Go for a long bath or shower, make it luxurious somehow.
- Give yourself a little boost by calculating or just considering how much money you’ve saved, or spent on better things, from not drinking.