Day Five

Day Five

I have been convinced I was a rock-star from the age of nine. When I drank and used, I felt I was playing into the idea that I was a tempestuous rebel, non-conforming, and pushing against the norms of society. In my darkest days I convinced myself I was set to be a member of the 27 club, and when things got dark I took solace in the fact I was a legend. The more I drank, and the more it started to impact my life, and the lives of others, I had to check the facts, and realised I wasn’t a legend - I was a liability. I wasn’t challenging the norms of society by slowly killing myself, I was completely numbing myself and not participating in any aspect of the world – whether that was a meaningful contribution or complete defiance.

I was sober for my 27th birthday, and it felt absolutely amazing. But sometimes I still want to act out, I want to have the trill of being reckless or throwing caution to the wind. I want to feel like a rock star in a small way, that doesn’t involve property damage or resetting my sobriety date. This has been where Alternate Rebellion has come in handy for me.

Alternate rebellion is where I’ve been able to find small ways of being a bit naughty, out of the ordinary, or non-conforming in ways that don’t harm me. It’s my taste of recklessness, as a treat, where I can get inventive with to flaunt the rules of society without alcohol or drugs.

Examples of my alternate rebellion:

Eating ice-cream for breakfast, napping in the middle of the day, giving an honest response rather than a polite one, planning tattoos which I may or may not get, buying a kooky piece of décor, getting a nose piercing I may take out later, wear something ridiculous to work, sharing an unpopular opinion with someone, and doing my admin work in bed.

Writing prompt:

What are examples of alternate rebellion you can see in your life?

Two tiny things:

- Stretch your body, really stretch. Get into your body, feel your skin stretch and your muscles loosen. Take your time over it.

- Try out one of your alternate rebellions.