Day Thirty Five
Some bridges can’t be burned, and there are often unavoidable triggering situations we have to mitigate – family, co-parenting, employment to name a few.
Not every relationship needs to be saved, not everything needs to be reclaimed, not every place needs to be returned to. Some bridges could do with being burned. That doesn’t mean you’re weak or your recovery isn’t strong – it just means you’re making life easier for yourself and creating a life that works.
Burning emotional bridges for me means deleting texts I circle back to that are cords to unhealthy people or times, deleting numbers, getting rid of old possessions and gifts that attach me to my drinking days, and changing my routine to avoid places that don’t serve me.
Bridges I burn in a more direct way are blocking numbers, saying “no” as a full sentence, and replacing rituals and places that keep in trapped in my drinking life.
The next step is maintenance, so that the bridges don’t reappear. Involved in this is making a relapse plan, should I go back on this, such as telling on myself to a trusted person.
What are some bridges in your life that need burning?
Three tiny things:
- Is there a habit you want to change? Maybe plan to work on that.
- Throw something out today, anything from an old possession to a recurring, false belief about yourself.
- Make a “to-done” list – a list of things you have done today that you are proud of.