Day Thirty Four
The physical check in is such a useful tool, that can be supplemented with an emotional check-in. It is as simple as asking “hey buddy, how are you doing?” to yourself. Using the knowledge from identifying what makes us emotionally vulnerable, and the emotion wheel on day 21, we get names for our emotion bank. As we progress, we get quicker and more skilled at seeing them, and acting on them less immediately.
As people who use alcohol to numb our emotional experiences to things we perceive as dangerous or intolerable, we often find new ways to numb ourselves in sobriety. We can hunker down and lose ourselves in overworking, hiding from ourselves in other behaviours, or getting headaches from simply fighting how we feel. Sometimes it hurts less to feel exactly how we are feeling for ten minutes, than to spend the whole day battling it.
So in my emotional check in I:
1) Get myself into a safe, comfy space.
2) Ask myself how I’m doing.
3) Let whatever comes up, come up.
4) React to it without acting upon it.
Sometimes I cry, punch a pillow, giggle uncontrollably, or sit in numbness. If the “why” is important, I consider that, but most importantly I just feel it and think how I can let it go, so I can make the most of the rest of my day. If I need support for it, I turn to my network, or get that journal out and work through it with pen on paper.
How often do you check in with yourself? How does it feel to honestly tell yourself how you are feeling?
Three tiny things:
- Write another affirmation/mantra down and leave it somewhere you will see it.
- Assess how emotionally vulnerable you are at the moment, is there anything you can edit in your day?
- Call/text/voicenote a friend and ask them how they are.