Day Thirty Seven

Day Thirty Seven

We are (loveable) imperfect people. Our inbuilt hardwiring to compare and despair, or to see anything less than high-achieving excellence as abject failure, can sometimes stop us from seeing small, significant achievements.

It can also stop us from trying in the first place, or tempt us to fail on purpose.

Confession time: in early lockdown, whilst going through a breakup, I picked up cigarettes again. I was so ashamed. I literally threw them in a bush, only to fish them out of the bush again later praying it hadn’t rained. I was so angry at myself for picking up a destructive habit – but berating myself and getting a case of the “fuck-it”s wouldn’t help me change my behaviour. Switching to vaping, decreasing the nicotine gradually, with intention of stopping would.

One of my boundaries with myself isn’t berating myself for trying my best. I have a whole host of wallowing activities, and they will escalate if I don’t treat myself as a human being who is allowed to have a bad day. In that, I can take victories where I can, and not throw it all away over my shame and perfectionism. It keeps me moving in the right direction, knowing that the work is constant, and it gets easier.

Writing prompt:

Where is an area you can cut yourself a bit of slack? Can you give yourself a bit of compassion, whilst still keeping your progress in mind?

Three tiny things:

- Try doing one thing you love, but don’t want to do right now.

- Try doing one thing you don’t want to do, but really need to.

- Try one of your alternate rebellions or favourite distractions.