Day Twenty Three

Day Twenty Three

As my inner child screamed in the attic, I thought if I ignored her I would be able to deny her existence. I considered this “coping” not realising that the echo was sounding through, undeniably, every time I did something harmful to myself, or lost myself in feelings of pain or hopelessness. The more the pain, the more the denial. It was a loop, that got me reaching for oblivion.

I realised that I needed to feel seen, and that meant my inner child needed to feel seen. Denying her pain only reenforced the childhood message that it wasn’t valid. That was one of the first steps I took towards repairing the behaviours. It put space between the “I have a feeling” and “I have to act on this.” It stopped me from acting on the first, unbearable thought. Using the tools in the first week I was able to create an emotional language for my inner child, that meant the screaming eventually stopped.

Writing prompt:

Write a certificate to your inner child, certifying that their pain is seen, and they are allowed to feel things.

Two tiny things:

- Rearrange a cupboard or a drawer today.

- Take half an hour for yourself today, to just be still and quiet.