If you know there are scenarios that put you at risk of drinking in misaligned ways, consider avoiding them for a bit until you get some practice under your belt. If you know that brunch leads to six mimosas and a killer hangover, perhaps we skip it in favor of a coffee date with friends for now. Similarly, if there are specific people or groups of people who you only spend time drinking heavily with, maybe rain check until you feel more steady on your feet. We can’t avoid triggers entirely, but we can mitigate their intensity. (This also gives us an opportunity to work on our boundaries, something that can be extremely supportive to your choice to drink less.)

Craft a go-to answer

When folks wonder why you’re not down for the Beer Pong Olympics like you used to be, it’s helpful to have a go-to answer crafted ahead of time. Rather than panic in the moment and fumble your way through an answer, know what you’ll say—keep it short, simple, or even have a little white lie handy. Some options:

• I have a yoga class in the morning

• I’m trying to nail this big work thing

• I’m trying to cut back right now

Plug into community

You don’t need to do this alone, even if it feels like no one else in your life understands. There are tons of different communities of folks who think and drink differently—try out local meetups focused on wellness, the outdoors, or niche hobbies. If the internet is more your style, there are tons of sober/sober-curious/mindful drinking communities out there who understand exactly where you are. Check out the forum right here in Reframe and connect with other folks working through their relationship with alcohol. There are so many people rooting for you!

Untangle your “stories” about alcohol

Finally, start deconstructing the way you think about alcohol right now. Our boozy society has told us (often since childhood) that alcohol is required for fun, for sadness, for stress, and so on. That it’s glamorous, exciting, sophisticated, sexy, that people who don’t drink like everyone else have a “problem,” that life is just less fun without it.

Throw these stories in the garbage and start this journey with an open mind; perhaps you don’t need alcohol to have fun or get through a stressful day or celebrate something. Maybe all the glamor is crafty marketing, maybe it’s just a chemical compound, maybe getting drunk isn’t all that sexy. Whatever your “stories” are about alcohol, just consider that maybe they’re not concrete truth, or at least maybe not the truth for you. Deconstructing these pre-existing notions about booze makes changing our habits much easier.